09 Jul, 2025
A footie debate as old as time. We wanted to settle the North vs South Premier League XI’s debate, so we made teams, and simmed the game! Will the North, with the attacking prowess of Salah, Haaland, Isak, Wirtz and others come out on top vs or will the underdog South with that spine of Saliba, Gabriel, Caicedo and Rice with match winners like Saka and Palmer make the upset. Let’s find out!
It’s a classic pub debate…
I’m not talking about players born in the north or south – I mean players currently at clubs in the northern or southern half of the country.Until now, this argument has been purely hypothetical. But I decided it was time to settle it once and for all.
There was one slight issue though: plenty of clubs sit awkwardly in the middle of England, especially in the Midlands. Where do they fit in? For the most part, it didn’t matter – none of these sides really have players who’d trouble the combined XIs. Aston Villa was the exception, and after a quick Twitter poll, the consensus was to class them as northern. It didn’t end up making much difference anyway, since no Villa players made the cut.
So, who actually made the teams? I know there’ll be plenty of arguments about my selections, but here they are:
Gordon, Livramento, Bernardo Silva, Isak, Stones, Gündogan, Foden, Konaté, Tonali.
South subs: Romero, Ødegaard, Mateta, Guehi, Martinelli, Fernández, Cucurella, Mbeumo, Mitoma.
At first glance, the North already looks like favourites. Even without running the simulation, it’s obvious which side of the country boasts more star power. But how would these teams fare head-to-head in Football Manager? To make things fair, I gave both teams identical tactics and managed them myself, doing my absolute best to keep things level.
So here we go… LET BATTLE COMMENCE.From the start, it’s clear this will be a cagey affair. Hardly surprising. Both sides have elite centre-back pairings and, like most early-season clashes between top teams, this quickly turns into what pundits politely call an “interesting tactical battle” – which in reality means nothing happens.After half an hour, it looks like we finally have a breakthrough! Erling Haaland finds the net to put the North ahead… except the goal is ruled out for offside.
As you were.The pattern continues until around the 75th minute. It’s still cagey, with neither team willing to take risks. I get it. It’s the first match of the season, and nobody wants to make a mistake. Plus, every player in this game has the “enjoys big matches” trait. Sadly, they don’t consider the North vs South opener a “big match” in FM terms. So maybe they’re saving themselves for a bigger occasion.
Then it happens again. Bernardo Silva – who is absolutely ridiculous in this game – scores what looks like the opener. But wait… offside again. Clearly, the referee is from the South.At this point, I’m resigned to a bore draw and the whole experiment fizzling out. But then, out of nowhere, chaos erupts. Isak beats the offside trap and squares for an unmarked Haaland, who slots home in the 93rd minute.
A stoppage-time winner from the best player in the game? Sounds about right. Except Football Manager isn’t finished with us. Straight from the restart, Enzo Fernández floats a gorgeous ball forward and Gabriel Martinelli curls it into the bottom corner! Absolute scenes. Two goals in stoppage time have turned what looked like a drab encounter into an instant classic.
So, what have we learned? I think it’s fair to say that on most days, the North probably edges this contest. They have the stronger squad, and on another occasion they might win 3–1 comfortably.
But the actual match was far tighter and cagier than I expected. If this fixture ever happened in real life, I reckon it would be closer than most people think.Oh, and one more thing – southern clubs really need to sort their striker situation. Bowen and Mateta are good players, but surely they’re not the best the South can offer up front.
https://www.instagram.com/ingenuityfantasyfootballfpl/
